Saturday, July 01, 2006

WHY? (warning I am PISSED)

I was at a BBQ tonight at a neighbor's home. Now I am not close to this family, we're neighborly, the kids play sometimes, if her hubby needs computer help or an extra pair of hands for something Brain will lend a hand, I'm even the emergency contact for their girls (their private school is up the street, and Mom works more than a half hour away - if there was a major get the kids out emergency, I am the only at home mom she knows who's close which is fine with me - really -) yah know like that.

So here I am at the BBQ - with Wild Thing's mom - and she (WT's Mom) is talking with a couple of other moms I am listening but not contributing much ( I was also taking care of the almost 2 year old Dictator and there was a mini moon bounce- need I say more?).

"You should send her full day right away. I mean it will be hard at first, but she'll get uses to it and it will teach her to be self reliant" WHAT? This is what I hear one mom (who a know as a friend of my neighbor - a "Hi how are you?" acquaintances) say to another. Mom #1-the acquaintance- is telling Mom #2 that she should send her JUST BARELY 2 year old to full time preschool - to TEACH HER SELF RELIANCE!!!


She's freaking barely 2!!!!!! WTF???? She needs to be HOME WITH HER MOTHER learning that she has wings to fly but that she also has a soft place to fall!

What is it that we need to send out children out into the BIG BAD world to GET TOUGH??? What happened to childhood?? This dear little one is JUST coming into herself and she's to be thrust into the world of SELF RELIANCE??? I am not self reliant! I rely on my family, my friends and my God. I rely on my Mother and my Husband and my Bible.


They keep talking and I just can't stand it. Mom #1 keeps talking about how it is better for HER to send her almost 4 year old to preschool full day. NOT it's better for her son, NOT he's so excited, NOT we're just going to try it, NOT I think he's ready. And if it doesn't work out she'll try somewhere else NEXT YEAR. So her poor son should suffer though a whole school year miserable - BECAUSE IT'S BETTER FOR HER!!!!

I was steamed and I just don't know these people well enough to tell them off (and hurt my neighbors). Meanwhile I KNOW that Mom #1 slept with her son in HIS ROOM until he was over 2 - even though her hubby was so NOT ON BOARD with this. Which would be fine if that was their family lifestyle - but then she had the NERVE to complain about how he didn't sleep by himself (although she didn't BOTHER trying to get him to sleep on his own). She really irritates me.

Now here is where I should say - I sent Thing 1 to a preschool 2 years ago - and had to yank him out because his teacher was an abusive asshole (YES I said it and SHE WAS! But that's another post).

His second pre-school this past year was better - but he still didn't thrive, and moved us toward our current decision to homeschool.

Thing 2 will be trying preschool 2 days a week (half days) just to play with friends. If it doesn't work out - that's fine I'll pull her.

I have NOTHING against pre-school (I was a pre-school teacher) I am totally against using preschool to HARDEN your children. It is there to expand your child horizons, to introduce them to new people, new ideas. Not to teach your child to be tough, but to help give them wings to blossom.


Everyday Mommy said...

I can tell you honestly, I would not have shown the restraint which you did.

Would love to suggest a great post over at Spunky Homeschool.

This is a must-read.

Everyday Mommy said...

Sorry...hope you can see the whole link here.

Mom Nancy said...

I was in a mom's group at our church when Pepper was about 3 and there was an older mom who had been a kindergarten teacher until she decided to start her own family. She said it's always easy to tell which kids were in day care and which ones were home with mom. The day care (which is ALL 2 year old preschool could be!) kids were aggressive and tougher than the other kids. Not in a self-reliant way, but in a "I need to be aggressive because I need to do it myself. No one else will." Not a good thing for little kids!

Jenn said...

oh man, that is too bad. I'm so sorry you had to listen to such drivel. It's hard enough being a kid. They don't need to be harder, especially those wee ones.
I'll admit that I never sent my oldest to any kind of preschool - He started off in kindergarten after spending his first 4 years at home with me - every day.
He had a little adjustment since it was all day.
My middle son we put in preschool 2 mornings a week, and he has thrived. He turns 4 tomorrow and will start kindergarten in the fall. He is excited. It has been good FOR HIM.
Regardless of how well I knew the nitwit friend o' the neighbour I might pleasantly join in the conversation and say how well adjusted my 5 yr old is without benefit of any preschooling (full OR part time) and that he doesn't seem to need any hardening at all. Life will do that all on it's own - we acquire cynicism and hardness in time quite easily. Might make for an awkward silence from miss I-can't-wait-to-dump-my-kids, but at least it will remove the pressure tactics, to let others decide what is best for their own kids, not their own convenience.
Thanks for visiting my blog - you'll see I'm quite cynical and sarcastic, all on my own - I never went to preschool either ;)

Heather said...

HA! I went to preschool WITH NUNS! Man no imagine going into a timeout with a nun standing over you!!!!