Saturday, June 03, 2006

SOOOOO BUSY!!! The flippin phone company turned off our phone. ARGH!!!! Had nothing to do with paying the bill, stupid mixup with the DSL and cable modem (we turned off the DSL and they screwed up) SO we might have the phone back Monday. GRRR meanwhile everyone is calling my cell in a panic. sigh

Can I just tell you how excited I am to go to church? I feel soooooo silly - really - I have been waiting all week to GO TO CHURCH - me! The woman who a few years ago wanted just about nothing to do with church. The one who thought church was a stupid, man created thing , and unnecessary to worship God. Me, who also didn't do so well worshiping God, living a Christian life, and being afraid to mention my beliefs in public (even when asked!)Now I WANT to go to church. I LOVE going to church! I got my best friend and her family to join - Tuesday - I asked her if she really like it - and she said that she did, and had even mentioned it to her dad (who is a CHARACTER) and she referred to it as her church. How cool is that! She was definitely a believer, but after they had moved back to our state they had not found a church (frankly none of us had tried very hard to find one - even though we kept saying we needed to find a church). After one visit, at least for us - it feels like home - the right place. I cannot get over it.

I like it so much I had mentioned it to a neighbor- we were talking about what to do with the kids this summer, and my church has a bible camp (don't most of them??LOL!!) And she said she wanted to check it out because her son was starting to ask questions she couldn't answer. SO she wanted to find a church to help her explain things to him. Sounds normal right? SHE'S AN ATHEIST. Or at least she says she is. Her reasoning is, that she wants hear son to see what church and God is about and to make his own decision. I think her spirit is being moved (and oh mama does it need to! I won't go into it - but DANG!) We have been talking about it, she bailed on me this week, but I will be praying about her this week - I want to get her fanny back to church.

I have been reading several Christian mom's blogs Chaotic Mom, Rocks in my dryer, Owlhaven, All in a Day's work, BooMama, Children and cheerios on the loose a new favorite to add to my blogroll, Everyday Mommy another new favorite -- I am blown away by these women's ability to write about their relationship with God so easily and openly. I still sometimes feel like being a Christian is a pair of shoes that doesn't quite fit. Like I have to break them in still, you know? Scuff the bottoms and stretch the sides a bit. I want to be like them when I grow up.

I have a hard time believing God's grace covers me, I know it does logically but wow! That encompasses SO much. I can't possibly deserve it, I DON'T deserve it. But I've got it. WHY? Why Me? I try to put it in human terms of how much I ADORE my children. If I could I would worship the ground they walk on - but man there have their moments. That is how GOD loves me. Even when I am throwing a fit, working against him, fighting his will, he loves me. SO much he SLAPS me in the face with his plan. (when I think of this I think of a dear friend who God had to shake up a bit with his plan - she fought him kicking and screaming too!) So much he lets me learn from my mistakes (an BOY can I make em!) and then he gently leads me back to the path.

I am amazed at the depth and breadth of my feeling on this. I didn't know I had it in me. I am so excited that tomorrow is Sunday.

7 comments:

Lucy T said...

The Christianese Lingo for what you are experiencing is to say you are "On Fire."
AKA "Up on the Mountaintop."
God is good.
Yay for Heather.
Lucy

BooMama said...

I love that you've found a church you can actually look forward to attending...that is HUGE! So exciting...and life-changing, really.

And thanks so much for the sweet encouragement. It really does mean so much.

Have FUN at church tomorrow! Isn't that awesome? To know that you can? He is good!

Mom Nancy said...

that's great, Heather!

janjanmom said...

WOW!! I am honored you metioned me as I feel pretty uncomfy in the grace shoes!! Look out though, as the grace shoes get more comfy, the world shoes become more intolerable.

Tish said...

I love how you write exactly what you feel! You are inspiring. I hope to someday find what you have found!

Everyday Mommy said...

My gosh, I'm deeply humbled and honored that you would mention my blog in this post. Truly humbled.

I understand the difficulty you're having grasping the scope of God's grace, and how you or I could possibly be included in it. Me, too! I think it's good that we cannot grasp it. It's height and depth and breadth is too great for us to comprehend. How wonderful is His love for us that He should shed His own blood?

A book (and a study) that helped get this truth deep down in my spirit is called "Our Covenant God" by Kay Arthur. I could not recommend it more.

Annette Burkett said...

You sound a whole lot like myself. I'm glad I found your blog!